Every day im growing a little stronger

Posted: April 22, 2011 in growing stronger, Uncategorized

So over these last few days I have had some great news. I am going to be starting my training with Aspire north over the next couple of weeks. Also I am now part of the nshn organisation (the national self harm network). Both are pretty major for me and show that I am slowly but surely getting “better”. I’m guessing that most of you won’t really know what any of these organisations do. Firstly aspire north is an organisation that puts on workshops for kids in school between s3-s6. There are really three groups of kids in school when you look at things academically. You have the high flyers who you know will do well and have everything they want to do planned out. You also have the kids who wont really go far after school academically but they know what they want to do and there is nothing much you can do to push them any further. Then you have the ones in the middle, they have the ability to do very well and achieve anything they want but they just need a little shove in the right direction. I was one of those pupils and I never really got the shove I needed from anyone and everything I achieved I did on my own and I could of been pushed so much further. Aspire north helps push those kids and works with a select number of pupils in a year. The pupils are selected at the start of s3 and continue working with aspire north until they either leave school in fourth year or even s5 or s6. So the work doesnt just stop when they progress on into s5 or s6. There are several workshops that go on through out the year, in school and on college and uni campuses. For me its an important thing to be apart of as I know that schools do not push kids enough to go into further education. So I am really looking forward to having an impact on other young people’s lives.

My work with the NSHN has just started and I am basically reading emails that people send and trying to support them in the best possible way. For me this is a giant leap forward as I am using my past as a possitive and trying to save some people getting into the mess I was in. Some people would say that it aint much to me it means everything, its another chapter in my life and for a change its one that has self harm in it but in a good way. Self harm has been a major part in my life for several years and I am finally going to change the situation around and use it for good. For every email I reply to and every person that tells me I have helped just even a little, it makes me feel just that littlebit stronger inside. The work has only just began but its going to continue for as long as I am allowed to continue there will be a point in my life where self harm and me will only be related in the fact that I help others get away from it πŸ˜€

My life seems to be changing so much just now and all for the better. I feel like I am a totally different person. I revisited school just a few weeks back and even they noticed the huge difference in me. Its nice to see that people who saw me at my very lowest point realise just how much I have turned things around. I am heading back to school again on tuesday to get some more pictures for my college project and I am hoping that they will notice another massive change. I am also in the middle of writing a letter to my old social worker and my ypd worker to say thanks for all they did for me and give them a brief update on how I am getting on. i guess for them they will realise just how much I have changed as they pretty much knew everything i was going through and just how crap I felt. Also for me its like proving that I had it in me to change and keep it up as before everytime I seen a little light and felt like i was getting better I would crash back down. This time its for ever and I couldnt feel more positive.

So that my update just now, hope every one else is feeling great πŸ™‚ bye for now πŸ˜€


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