Every step seems that little harder

Posted: May 26, 2011 in growing stronger, self help, tough times

So things have been looking up but there are a few people who seem to want to see me fail. They have been trying there hardest to make me trip up and fall back to the dark place I was at. I have become a total different person over the last year and I am so happy with the changes but some people seem to think that I shouldnt have the happiness I do and want to try and spoil it for me. I have been battling against this for a wee while but it’s now getting to me and feels as though they are starting to get to me. At first when it began to happen I didn’t really think anything about it but now its making me think about things a bit too much.

Its starting to get to the point where I am feeling that every step I take forward someone brings up something from the past and I have to take a step back again. My future was looking good and I didn’t really think that anything would get in the way as I am determined to continue with the changes I have made already. I really don’t see what satisfaction people get from trying to knock me down but I do know that I get great satisfaction out of proving them wrong and staying on the right path.

Although I know that staying on the right path is the right thing to do and that I feel so much better where I am now compared to where I was several years ago, actually I feel better than the place I was just last year. I still find it hard to ignore what they have to say and the fact that my stupid mistakes in the past now give someone the drive to try and knock me down.

I know that my past wasn’t the best and I did a lot of things that I now regret and this comes with me everyday, but it is bearable when it’s only me that knows I carry it with me and it doesn’t really affect me that much. The worst thing is when someone else brings it up, I know that when you do something daft it comes with consequences but I didn’t think that it gave others the right to use it against me years after. I guess some people don’t seem to think about this.

For me my past plays a big part in where I am now and maybe if it wasn’t for things that happened in the past I wouldn’t be the person I am today. Everyone makes mistakes and has a past and I know that I am no exception to this but I would never use anyones mistakes against them.

Many thoughts have been going through my head and many of them not very positive but I am not going to let some childish little fool bring me down and spoil all the hard work I have put in. Maybe at one point this would have been enough to knock me back but now it’s almost like it’s the opposite and it is making me fight harder and although its tough I am going to fight for as long as is needed.

On the up side my training for aspire north is on Wednesday and this will hopefully keep me on the right track as I use my past to help under achieving teens achieve the things they are capable of.

If there are people out there who are trying to knock you off the right path, be strong and continue on like they don’t exist. Things can only get better and they will soon get fed upof trying if we stay strong.

bye for now. 🙂

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