Big ideas

Posted: October 14, 2011 in growing stronger, self help

So lately I have been thinking a lot about the future as you might know about if you have read my last few blogs. Relating to this I have been thinking about several things that I want to do in the future not work related. I want to get a tattoo next year on the 12th of February as it will be the 10th anniversary of my dads death and I want to get a memorial tattoo done.
I have been saying for years that I am going to get it done but age was a restriction, then when I became 18 I was unsure of many different factors. I don’t just want a tattoo that means nothing I want something that for the rest of my life I will be able to tell people why I got it. So for these resins I decided to get it done on this date.

I am going to get a portrait of my dad. I have already selected the photo I want to be copied as it shows my dads personality best out of all the photos I have of him which isn’t many. My dad was a bit of a joker and always had a smile of his face, he was the life of any party. The photo I have chosen shows all of this and it also makes me smile every time I look at it. I also want to add a banner but this will be no traditional banner.

People that know my dad will know that he liked a drink and loved his vodka and beer so instead of have the scroll I want a vodka bottle with a label hanging off across my arm joining on to a beer can. My dad loved his vodka that much that when my cousin went to see a psychic after he passed away and my dad came through. He had 2 things to complain about, we berried him without socks and we never put a bottle of vodka in his coffin. To me this showed his love for vodka :L. So that is why I want that instead of a scroll and I hope that it will all work together. I also want to get another small tattoo behind my ear with the word father in arabic and then my dads initials underneath it. These are both pretty personal tattoos and are something that I have been thinking about for a while.

I also have been thinking about something that’s quite close to my heart. For a few years now I have been thinking about getting the message about self harm out there and making more people aware of how people that self harm feel and how people can support them on to a path of getting better. This is something I believe needs to be done more so in schools than anywhere else.

When I was at school and in my worse state of mind no one knew just how to approach me. It was like I was a freak and people just looked in the opposite direction when they saw me or they would say the totally wrong thing. I guess when people in school found out that I self harmed it was still a very new thing in school and many teachers had never had to deal with it. I guess that if you haven’t been through it or you don’t understand it then your never gonna get what that person is going through and just how to help them.

Every person that self harms has a different reason for doing it, on a personal level I had several reasons and I guess that my previous blogs before will explain some of these reasons. I have some really bad experiences when it comes to support and I believe this is what pushes me to make people more aware of what they can do.

Recently I’ve been looking hard at how I can get into local schools and achieve what I want to do. I have a few contacts and have brief contact with people that I think will help me do this. Hopefully when you hear from me next I will be a bit closer to this dream and I can update you on what I have achieved. Bye for now 🙂

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