I am forever thankful…

Posted: May 28, 2013 in growing stronger, self help, tough times

So a couple of months have gone by since I last wrote anything. But I felt like i needed to share something with you. So its almost 3am and instead of sleep I’m blogging but what better way to put myself to sleep then getting whats keeping me awake off of my chest.

A couple of days ago I was having a conversation with someone who knows me very well (or so i thought) and we got talking about my past and how much i have changed from then. But the only reason we got on to that topic was because of a stupid remark they made. I had toothache and was taking painkillers for it and they said oh you better be careful taking those you don’t want another overdose to happen. This infuriated me, do people still see me the same way as I was before? Do they not see the huge change I see?

Well I didn’t let it go I made sure I stood up for myself and told them exactly what has changed. Although i did this it has been bothering me these last couple of days and tonight I couldn’t sleep for thinking about it.

If you have read my last blog you will be aware that I went through some really dark patches just a few years back but this year is 2 years since i last harmed myself, and i am now on a mission to help others. surely that in its self is enough for someone to see i have changed.

Whilst i was thinking tonight i looked out my old sketch book and i began looking through some of my sketches from the past. i haven’t used this sketch book for some time now as it has all my dark days in it and i want it to stay that way so that i can show people just what others missed.

There are a number of sketches in it and they all show how crap i felt during this time and my sketch book came with me pretty much where ever i went as it was one way of me letting out my emotion without harming myself. i have attached some examples below of things people missed. ImageImageImageImage

i guess what i want to share with you is that even if there are clear signs there, self harm is something that many people do not pick up on or bother trying to support people with. when i was at my worst and needed the support i was very fortunate to have friends that picked up on the signs and told someone. if it wasn’t for them noticing, i would probably be dead. That may sound a bit over the top but i was on a path that had no return until my friends did something about it. It was because of them that i spoke out about what i had been going through and eventually got through my recovery. My friends have been there for me the whole way through and i am very grateful for their support. i know that if i ever need them they are there and i for them.

My mission is to get information out there to other young folk who don’t self harm but may know someone who does. if you notice something that you think is out of character for someone, do something about it. you may save that person.

My friends saved my life and I am forever thankful.

So yeah one comment sparked off a lot of thoughts and I needed to get some of it out there. I’m no longer at the place i was and i don’t need others to tell me that, i know i have changed and for the better. i will continue to go forward with this new chapter of my life creating many more positive experiences using the negatives from the past. My past is what has made me and i am not ashamed of any of it!

If you think someone is going through a hard time, please do something about it, dont wait for someone else to do it as they are probably thinking the same. your friends need you and you can truly make a difference.

Take care and bye for now. 🙂


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