Crashing hard…

Posted: September 27, 2015 in Uncategorized

Everyone always commends me on how well I’ve done changing my life around. They always comment on how optimistic I am and how I always appear to have a positive outlook on life. Guess it’s easy to see that if you only look skin deep but deep inside I go through major changes in emotions. My illness plays a huge part but sometimes outside factors can do too. 

Lately I’ve been feeling in a really good place I’ve not really been in a depressive nor a manic stage I’ve just been sailing on through the middle somewhere. I guess on a little bit of a high as it’s nice just to feel normal sometimes. But I guess i got so used to feeling this way and now it’s made this dip so much harder. I’ve crashed so hard. My mind is completely mushed, it’s hard to keep it together. It’s been a while since I’ve felt so low. I’ve had to find some of my old faithfuls  to get me through. Relaxation is hard when your mind is working overtime so I have to try other ways to distract myself. 

Not really sure what this blog is really about. I guess it’s just me trying to make sense of how I’m feeling but also I want to remind everyone that we can all have slip ups and have days where we feel like we could just slip away but those days don’t last forever so they are worth fighting. Even years into recovery I have major lows but I have way more highs so it’s all worth the fight on the tougher days. I’m not sure anything I’ve said in this will make sense but if anything just know you can get through whatever it is that is currently making your day hard. H 🙂 

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